10:24 PM |
jus came back from judo...one heck of a night....one of my seniors got hurt quite badly today and i feel as though im partly responsible for it...cause *to judo players* when to was time for randori (or otherwise known as sparring for non judokas) i was insturucted by the sensei (teacher) to randori with one of my seniors, so, me being me, she allowed me chances for me to throw her, which i did, but i cant say it was a clean throw, so therefore, she landed on her back, also when she tried to throw me, i resisted *which ended up in me hitting my head hard on the tatami in the end*, so when a sensie later sparred with her, she landed up hurt due to back problems, and what did i do? I jus freaked out and cried...even though i feel that im partly responsible as number one, if i excuted clean throws, she would not have landed on her back and proberly wouldent have goten hurt when she sparred with the sensie and also, if i hadent resisted and just let her throw me like im supposed to as a junior, she would not have to possibly strain her back...i feel that somehow, i agrivated her back probelm thus causeing her to get hurt when she sparred with the sensie...and i couldent even do anything when she got hurt! i jus sat there and cried!*im sooo hating myself now...* don even talk to me right now...