9:11 PM |
Been feeling damm crappy these few days (actually its only since ytd night but u get the point). Forget it, im gonna rant abt it.
I been feeling crappy because i dont care what u call me, spoilt or whatever, i cant play in the floorball competition that was held today, and tmr. Thats not the main point, what pissed me off was that the rest of the team got to play, and only i didnt, even my junior, which makes me jelous.I dont give a damm what you people think. Apperently the coach decided to pull me out last min. I was really really looking forward to this game, even trained exceptionaly hard for it. I mean, you told me i could play, you get me all excited, than a day before that, you tell me im not playing. what the hell?! AND EVEN MY FREAKING JUNIOR GETS TO PLAY! Chloe says maybe its because coach wants us to train harder so that we are more prepared before she enters us into the competition, than why the hell did u even get my hopes up un the first place by telling me i was playing than tell me that im not! @$#%#@ I know its not my junior's fault that i din get to play, i know its not the coaches fault or my teammates, but somehow, i feel pissed at everyone.Also partly because coach called this team elite, made up of only the best players, it sucks to know that im not good enough
At times like this, i dont feel like talking to anyone, but i cant, cause its going to make me even more anti social than i already am, at times like this, i really want someone to tell me that its ok, theres always next time. I want to yell at every single person i see, but i cant, i want to snap at everyone, but thats just unfair to them. I really want to cry, but i told myself i wont. URGH! I havent felt this horrible in a long while now. I dident think it would bother me so much but it does. i dont care what you people think, i dont give a damm.
I want to talk to someone, spill out EVERYTHING without holding back. I want to talk to someone who wont judge me for what i say or what i do now.But no such person exists
I want to be like chloe, at times like this, who has God to turn to and guide her and seek comfort in Him, but i cant, i dont know how, and besides, im supposed to be buhddist.At least he'll listen to me rant and maybe even guide me.
Im thinking of taking down my tagboard.