8:41 PM |
Met an old friend of mine today. Goodness it was a roller coaster of emotions, I'm mentally drained already.When I met him he had changed so much he was like a total stranger. Just in a matter of 2 months.Before that I actually had alot of stuff i wanted to say to him in person.But when I finally met him I just couldent say a word.I asked him what was wrong.He told me he knew how I felt, I thought he felt the same way or something.Turns out he found had a new girlfriend right after our relationship and she treated him the same way he treated me. At that point I suddenly felt so sad I was on the brink of tears. In fact, I would have cried if my mum had not called me at that moment. I have no idea why I reacted that strongly. I mean, its over isn't it? Maybe from the fact that he had forgotten about me and moved on so quickly. Or maybe because I suspected that all the things he said when we were together were mostly honeyed words because straight after ours, he feel in love with another.Or maybe from the fact that that girl hurt him. As much as he hurt me.Most likely from the combination of all 3 I guess.I felt so miserable regreted coming out today ,I hated him at that moment.I felt like making up an excuse to go home or something .Well I'm glad I did'nt.
Things turned around after that.Stuff went back to just the way it was before this happened.The exact thing I was looking for.Finally. We played, we talked, we walked aimlessly(or not so aimlessly afterall).
Strangly.When I did manage to tell him what I intented to in the first place. I ve heard the answer before.But when i heard it from him personally. I felt somewhat sad and yet, happy at the same time. I guess i needed a direct answer so that it wouldent hurt so much.It was exhausting.One moment I felt so sad like it was the end of the world. The next I dont think I ve ever felt so happy in a while now.Because at least he regards me as a friend now. I 've never been so happy for while.
I'm supposed to feel happy.Yet I feel strangely sad. My thoughts keep wandering back to the girlfriend thing.