12:37 PM |
So much for the cheery mood. I just flew into a full blown rage this morning, it was anger like no other, emotion I never even knew I was capable of, anger so stong that every inch of my being wanted her dead and gone, I didnt care anymore, I couldent think, all I wanted to do was yell me head off at her there and then, tell her how much I hated her,how much I wanted her dead, it was terrifying.I guess this is the result of 3 years of silent tolerating,keeping mum, all the anger just builds and bubbles inside, until one day it erupts like a volcano. I remember bending low, like I was poised for a fight, I didnt even know it until a while later, like it was a reflex or something. Fight or flight. That's how angry I was. I was crying and screaming at her like a banshee, my breathing uncontrollable like I had just run a marathon, my entire self shaking with fury. The last straw that broke the camel's back huh? It wasn't even a big thing, just another one of her snide comments. But that did it, it sent me into fury I never knew before, I couldn't even think straight and reason with myself, like I lost control of myself. I was terrifying, to know I'm capable of such hate and anger. I've calmed down a lot now thankfully. What terrified me the most was how I bent low as if I was about to jump on her any second, without even knowing it.I'm a lot calmer now, but I feel absolutely no remorse for my actions and words, she deserved it, the whole package.